Archives: September 2003

Invitation

welcome!!!
(i won't be there, but hey, you can enjoy the free drinks in my place...)

Posted on September 1, 2003
in Projects

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So what do i do lately?

Probably you wonder....

I wonder too. Seems that I spend time sitting in offices checking on things such as 'how do I get paid when abroad'
I guess it would take the same thing as last year.
Guess what: it is not like that...
Paradise gets blurred...

Anyway: checking on shipping a motorcycle, checking on getting scholarships, checking on leaving for Kosovo, arranging an exhibition, getting photoblog.be started (this is a great thing!!!)
and go on...

Surf to www.tresignie.be, www.countrystudio.be, www.knapsteboer.be, to see my last designs (and yes, this is where I spent most time on...)

While I keep you busy with checking those for a while, I am able to write some stories before I leave Friday...
So soon check up with nice stories.

(but i don't promise..)

Posted on September 1, 2003
in Living in Belgium

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Flight confirmed

"Flights in next three weeks, to Skopje, Kosovo:
Permisions:
Flight of Shpresim & Ine Dehandschutter on 05/09 to Skopje PERMISSION
Flight of Ine Dehandschutter on 26/09 to België PERMISSION

Hours of flight Friday 05/09:

Leaving for Skopje
Be in Melsbroek at 7.30 BT
Leave at Melsbroek with C-130 (Belgian Army) at 9.30 BT
Arrival in Skopje at 13.30 ST

Back to België
Be in Skopje om 11u30 ST
Leave Skopje with C-130 at 14.30 ST
Arrivalin Melsbroek at 18u30 BT"

Off we go again.

Posted on September 3, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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We don't live in poetry

nor in fairytales.
nor in movies.
nor in fictionbooks.

somebody made me think for a sec.

we live now and here. the moment.

did i pretend something else?

that someone sounded very serious when saying it.

and i am very serious when answering.

do you remember your graduation day, or your first night with a boy, or even your first memory.
how does it look like?
like a movie or a fictionbook, no?
like a story that you tell.

once it was reality... and the colors were less romantic, and the conversations less dramatic.
but your head remembers the story, turned it into poetry.
a movie that you can rewind again and again.

amazing memories. when i think of it, it is a movie.
but those days it wasn't. those days it was just fun.

and there are other days, when i shout in the phone, or somebody cries in the shower. or the night gets into day, and we didn't stop working, or an impossible client only knows his deadlines but not my needs...

yasser once told me: you always have good news.
my answer: because i silence the bad.
some people are very negative. and you become sad listening to it...
personally i keep up my spirit focussing on the nice news.

so, am i telling myself a ly?
i don't know, i sometimes wonder...

Posted on September 4, 2003
in Limit of my knowledge

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C130 to Skopje

I leave for Kosovo.
The question everybody asked: what is Kosovo? A country? No it is not a country So what is it?
I guess it is one of the things to figure out

And off I go.

At 7.30 AM, I have to be in the military airport, to leave at 9.30AM. (My god, they are worse than El Al)
When we arrive, we get the message that plane is delayed for one hour
Nice beginning.
Flying with a military aircraft is slightly different from flying on charter.
First of all, in this case the plane was a C130. It has no real chairs, so youre a kind of lying in nets. (I can tell you my butt hurt after only 2 hours, and we had another 2 hours to go)
Before we started we got this nice security check up, not the beautiful stewardess that explained everything. A nice bloke thinking faster than he could speak, so I didnt understand much of his explanation.
Well it was almost the same as what the stewardess would have said.
Swimming vests in the left(Ever wondered why they give swimming vests in a plane and no parachutes? And why in evacuations on the ground, people also have to wear those swimming vests. As if they would land in swimmingpool after taking the ride on the gliding thing. Tamar, you can give me the explanation on this one-)
Puking bags behind you
Belts for going up and going down
When the alarm goes, you run out of the plane, and in 100m front of the airplane, we gather
(WHAT? We run out of the airplane? What if it is still flying? And gather only 100m in front of the airplane? I dont know I would feel safer 200m in front of it. Suppose it explodes... Expecting we are not falling in Africa near a cannibal village. Otherwise I would opt for 20 m near the plane off course)

So finally we go.
And suddenly I know why we are offered earthings. The amazing noise that starts will last for 4 hours. You cant talk to your neighbour, you can try to listen to music but the noise overwhelms everything.

Travelling in a C130 is quite an adventure, but I guess after 2 times I opt for SN again.
Except for the very good price-quality of the Belgian Army. Even Ryanair cant beat this one

After a soft landing, we say good-bye to our guys and I land in this car of de Balkan actie van de Belgische gemeenten the organisation that helps me to coordinate my trip (surf to www.balkanactie.be)
The jeep looks like a UN-car and with the European flag and Belgian flag in front it, we look like the ambassador himself
It is a trick, and it works. A good trick. To protect themselves. Because they go to dangerous areas, and cars like that are neutral.
It like when I would put PRESS on my car in the Occupied Territories.

So I am stared at the whole time As if I am a Belgian princess visiting Skopje. (Macedonia)

After a drive, crossing of the border between Macedonia and Kosovo, and some more km, we end up in this little city.
I look and I see it is good.

This will work out fine.

Posted on September 5, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Thoughts.

Had a very quiet day.
And now his strangest noise is coming over this valley.
I can decide to go and look, or I can enjoy the music in my ears.
Sometimes I get crazy about the too much of thoughts in my mind. An amazing chaos, and I need little notebooks to write everything down.
Months later I find these notes, and I dont know why I put them away. Because by now, I have hundreds and thousands of these notes
The music starts again, and sounds like the fluteplayer attracting all the kids. And me, I have to go and see.
I turns out to be the local band, with decibels that are set to high.
So I go back to my notes.
I try to arrange, to wipe out some of them, to organise others. And the funny thing is that some of them reappear years later. Words reappear.
So I wonder if we change.
I mean, if we change, are our changes huge? Or is just something appearing that was always there?
I look at this vast land around me. I see the people. Normal people, like you and I.
So how could all these things happen? What got into their minds? And how do they keep on going, putting everything behind?
The same question as I asked myself in Israel or in Roumania, or even in Russia.

But what keeps me going? Why after seeing all the misery of others, why dont I focus on my life, and try to make the best out of that?
Why is this microbe arranging my life, and deciding that when too long in one place, I have to go elsewhere?
Why am I restless?
What do I have to prove?

Even on this very quiet day, my head is full, and I take my notebook, taking notes of my ideas, not to forget them and later wondering what I will do with them

Posted on September 6, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Dinner with Belgian Army

When we arrived, a commander of the Belgian Army invited us to go and have dinner with them on Sunday.
So thats what we did yesterday.
In the middle of nowhere, we found an amazing restaurant to eat trout. 8 soldiers, and some people from the Balkan-organisation, and me.
A Flemish evening in Kosovo.
It was fun.
The Belgian Army is here in Pristina with 12 people left, and also in the other regions their number is going down. Next mission will be Afghanistan, and after that probably Iraq.
Though situation isnt solved yet. Still there is tension and in the north, you can find hate in peoples eyes. In Macedonia (where we landed) there was a small war yesterday.
But priority lies elsewhere according to our Ministers
My only question is, if America keeps on starting wars in the Middle East, and move on after a short intervention, why does the rest of the world go and do the peace-keeping?
Give me a break
Red Cross and UN forecasted what would happen in Iraq. Everybody knew that the war would go smoothly, but that problems would begin afterwards. UNICEF has reports on the fact that disorientation in the country would cause the death of thousands of innocent children. Because there would be no electricity, no water, and first of all huge fights.
So now America wants European troops to come and help. And Belgium agrees, fearing that the all mighty US would remove the NATO from Brussels.
A recent documentary explained us that getting control on the oil in the Middle-East delays the world problem of oil-shortage with 4 years. Only 4 years!
So this means that because now we have control, we can be at ease for 4 more years, but afterwards?
For 4 years 10000nds of people died, and billions of money were spent on weapons.
You dont have to be very smart to know that nobody would do this for the oil on long term.
It was in the first place for the direct profit (Dont have to mention who gained most of the profits Rumsfield has a lot of shares in an oil company who got a deal, the other lad had a contract with the army to do all the army supplies in Iraq, and Bush senior. I dont want to think about that)
Secondly they had to find a short-term solution for Saudi-Arabia. Everybody knows they had something to do with the planes crashing (although US denied this, neglecting the proof), and the US was loosing control, Saudi-Arabia was the only oil-country that keeps prices on average (when Iraq decided to lower its productivity, Saudi drains more, so prices stay the same) but lately they threatened the US of closing the tabs. Imagine a crisis like in the 70s
So gain the control of the Iraqi oil-wells, the second biggest reserve of the world, seemed the best solution. Saudi-Arabia couldnt do anything anymore
3rd reason and not so unimportant in short-term thinking (and lets be clear, this is what Americans do) American oil is coming from South America, Venezuela. Recently there have been some problems with civil war threatening etc. Imagine that in no time their oil cant be provided from this country anymore

(To people who say I exaggerate: cmon if they are long-term thinking, you think they would invest in oil? NO! They would invest in windmills, and sun energy.
Something Belgians might start doing as well Maybe our seaside will look horrible. So what? What do you prefer: electricity, television, heating, or a nice view once in a year)

Some other amazing decisions of US:
-World global conference on CO2 output in the world: a no from America, they dont accept the max output. (The rest of the world does, and it is necessary to have our grandchildren survive)
-NATO has to move, because of Belgian point of view in Iraq war (humhum democracy)
-Death penalty in too many states. (Thy shall not kill!)
-3* strike law in several prisons in America (a law which result is that poor people get into prison for lifetime because they stole (a pack of cigarettes) for the third time..
This law hurts lower class society that has no solution at all. In NY, especially the Bronx/black/people are victim of this law.
-Cut in education money, to keep up money in defence (similar in Israel, and very famous in all 3rd world countries that got the ability to develop but invested in weaponry: no money in schools, money in defence (//Palestine)
-Law on terrorism: got expanded since Sept 11th. The consequence? Youngsters can be charged as an adult, and in some cases young hackers of 11 years old are charged with life time sentences
-They dont agree on a European Army. (Why Why cant we protect ourselves in an organised army? It would be good, less money would be spent on research, because it all comes together. And in the first place, armies in Europe are peace-keeping forces But no-no, we might get power I suppose, we might get less dependent on US)

No, I dont hate America. I just am not keen in living in a country like that.
Like I am not keen in living in a lot of countries (such as indeed in some Muslim countries because I, as a woman, would never get the possibilities I got now.
The thing about America is they are building up their army, investing in new strange weaponry, and most of all they try to control the rest.
It makes me feel uncomfortable

Who are we to pretend we are better?
Who are they to pretend they are the best?

(image from momentenvanverwarring)

Posted on September 7, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Time in Shtime, Kosovo

The last two days I was able to read a book, or check in the webcafee, because on Monday, we would start to work. So, lonely and at ease, I took time to read the last Nicci French. (Would have been better in English, because in Dutch I finished it in 4 hours. Another 18 days to go with only one book left)
Escaping into books was an obvious decision: in Kosovo people dont speak English, or merely.
I guess I have been in this situation before, but it is very hard to get somewhere if there is nobody able to explain.
On top of all there is this organisation that should.
But for one or another reason we didnt have time to discuss.
Surely this is my own fault. I have not been preparing this one, so today, in Kosovo-way nothing happened yet.
I am not panicking. Not at all.
People that travel to different regions know this phenomena. Except for Europe, America and some other little places, people seem to have time.
When you travel, you adapt. Easily.

Except for now. Because when Ill be back in Belgium there is a pile of work awaiting me
And sitting here, waiting for things is not my way of working.
Indeed I start focussing on things at home.

So here am I stuck behind my comp, writing plans and prices for www.photoblog.be, redesigning www.mastuvu.nu and starting my blog on www.monument.it

Soon on a screen near you!

Posted on September 8, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Absorbing the streets

The thing I like to do, when in a strange country, is walk the streets, get an impression, go into a bookstore, buy a pen and paper that feels soft and empty and write those impressions down.
I guess youre right when you mention that I am romantic and melancholic.
Rather than taking pictures and getting reality stuck into pictures, I try to get it in my mind. Absorb it, and transfer it onto the white virgin paper.
Before I start writing I turn a page, that page will always stay white.
Why? I dont know.
All my little books have an empty first page.
It suits them.
And when my first letters arent written in beautiful handwriting, I rip the page out and restart the thing.
Why? Again, I dont know.
It always has been like that.
While sitting in a café, watching the people pass by, I observe them, their shoes, how they walk, grandfathers with grandchildren, babies in fathers arms, old ladies that try to cross the streets.
You can see them everywhere.
You can picture them anywhere.
The picture stays the same.
The story not
That is why more and more, I stop taking the picture, but try to look for the story.

Reality is hard.
When travelling to certain regions, you learn that outside the cosiness you were raised in, there is something else.

Here in Kosovo, I look at people, and I know what I see might be different from what it is.
In Israel I had the same experience. A very nice guy, who was helping me out, could go to another place and fire at people without any problem.

These are the things you dont want to know, or believe.
Because somehow you want to believe in the innocence of people.

Forget it. Nothing to believe in

Posted on September 9, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Tears and laughs...

While the mother is preparing breakfast for me, she is talking to her son.
I dont understand a word of it (You should hear Albanese) but in the 10 minutes I watch the scenery she starts crying, goes on laughing and cries again.
Women in this society know how to mourn, they cry very fast and they can stop in a moment. I dont say it is fake, it belongs to this culture.
But you have to put things in that perspective.
In a conversation that follows, with Schpresim my host, I tell that I was quite surprised to see short sleeved, and make-upped women. After all this is a Muslim-society.
And while talking I suddenly know why I have this image, it is because of the pictures and images we saw during the Balkan-war: old women crying near the death bodies of their family. They wore scarves.

Kate Adie, a famous BBC-reporter made an autobiography which is worth reading (The Kindness of Strangers, Kate Adie, ISBN 0-7553-1073-x)
She was in the Balkan during the war, and reports it as one of the dirtiest wars she was in.
Also she makes the remark that cameramen and photographers showed us this war as one where people were poor and seemed to have horses instead of cars. She adds that those images were easy to illustrate the war: poor people. But she lived in nice mansion houses (as she calls it) with huge American fridges and people looked like picked out of a European street, and huge cars were driving amongst the horses.
People had to use the horses when suddenly all the gasoline had to go to the tanks and cars were not fuelled anymore.

News is not what is has to be. We saw this war differently. I guess if you want to know what really happened, books like this, can help you a lot. Because they go behind the scenes, and behind the journalists.

During the last gulf war (in Iraq) I saw a lot of news, in Israel. We saw it from the new-style journalists dressed up like American soldiers, we saw it from the Hotel Palestina, and from the Iraqi minister of Information, we saw it from different views, but it was very clear that this was a media war, where we had to doubt every thing we saw or heard.
The most interesting view for me was the one of the journalists of France 2 (who did magnificent reports compared to other channels) One camera team (I guess they had 4 or 5) followed the journalists. A total different view on things when you see that the image you see in prime time is one where 30 journalists are fighting for. And suddenly everything seems less spectacular.
The American parachutist being shot, an image everybody saw, was probably filmed because it was the one thing happening for hours And at least 40 people were watching it.
In the other side of town, there was no journalist

Lees meer "Tears and laughs..." »

Posted on September 11, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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What do I remember today

Probably I should remember a big thing today. I dont. Well I do. My only remark is how many people died for the 11000 that died 3 years ago?
Too much.

Today I followed a girl who moved to Belgium 8 years ago. For a political reason. It took her eight years to be able to stay into the country. After 2 years they wanted to send her back to Kosovo, if things had happened like that, she would have ended up in the war.
During this war, her parents send their children to Europe (and whod been better to go to than their sister?) Parents that worried about their daughters.
Serbs have raped a lot of girls here. Like people say here: it was better to get killed in the streets at once, as long as they didnt rape you.
The shame on that is different here than in Europe.
These sisters and aunts are sent back. Except for one sister and one brother that are still waiting for permission to stay. The brother arrived when he was 15 and is now 19, he has a Belgian life, Belgian friends and wants to stay there because his chances on a good life are better.
The sister has a war trauma, she didnt see her parents in 5 years, but cant make it to Kosovo. The thought of it makes her cry, every night she gets up crying and she needs medicines to calm her down.
She saw people get killed and she walked the streets when everywhere there were laying death bodies.
Yould get shocked from less I guess.
Still I cant understand. They tell me stories of Serbian neighbours that came out of their houses with kitchen knives to kill Albanians.

This story is not about Serbs or Albanians. It is about people that want to kill others, once neighbours Try to understand

This story is similar to that of a lot of people here
And it keeps on going.

For me it is hard. Like it is for the European Community. Or even the world.
Because on one hand they might want to help, they might want to stop the immigration into Europe, and solve this problem is solving European problems.
The only way to do this, is to make economics better here.
But such a thing needs good politicians and no more corruption.
A long way to go, in other words.

If you would be living here, and you have problems, and in Belgian you find a (temporary) solution. Wouldnt you go?

For sure I would

Posted on September 11, 2003
in Limit of my knowledge

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Stomach hurts!!!

Ok so I am sitting here, in the middle of nowhere, 3 days of rain and the constant urge to visit the bathroom
Slowly I start to wonder Maybe coming over here wasnt such a great idea, and surely not after I have been busy so hard achieving nothing but being tired. So that must be the reason why my immune system is not doing what it has to do: make me immune to those bacteria that are eating my stomach

Aaargh.

And yet.

It is worth it. I keep on telling myself (because surely what else would stop me from crying and try to catch the next airplane back?) That loss of weight is a nice side-effect from Tourista (which surely has NO other NICE side-effects)

Yesterday I saw the birth of a cow, which was named after me some moments later (not that I insisted on it not at all. So in 8 months Ine, the cow, will be inseminated to bring another little cow to earth. The idea I preferred they had chosen Isabella my companion- Tell me, that name suits a cow better, doesnt it?)

And before that I managed to make some nice pictures in the streets of Shtime.

I dont know. It is so easy to make those pictures. So romantic, exotic. And I question my photography again.
Everybody that looks at those pictures afterwards will tell: beautiful. But I dont know if that is the word I want to hear. Thats the story I want to tell?
Maybe I should go and work for a travel magazine, and show all the nice stuff and hide the rest.

The rest?: awful places to eat (cheap though), streets full of mud (or dust when it isnt raining), lousy economy, bad roads, not to talk about dangerous food
It is easy to hide.

Or you cant show, like in the book I am (still) reading. (What else to do when its raining, or I am sitting on the loo?)
I never wondered about it but indeed journalists arent immortal, so sometimes in awful situations they are just not able to film/photograph. When bullets flying around your ears, or somebody puts a knife to your throat Seconds later you have to do a journal and try to tell what is going on.

The thing that made my day.
This female journalist saying that she always packed light worried that a large suitcase would suggest to the all-male crews that a woman needed to bring the kitchen sink along- only to discover that it is men who cant pack and therefore tote immense amounts of luggage. Women stuff shoes with make-up bottles and squeeze underwear into corners; men sit forcefully on cases. Ive eyed vast amounts of opened luggage over the years in hotel rooms, and can attest to the fact that only men insist on packing shoetrees and hangers, that they not mastered the art of folding anything, and always have a bag of dirty washing at the end of the trip which is mysteriously extra to what they brought.

Somehow I recognize these things
When men tell you on the phone they come light packed You wonder what they would come like otherwise

In case you wonder what I took for this 20-day journey:
-1 jeans, 1 kaki, 1 knickers and 1 short (because they told me it would be 30° degrees)
-2 long sleeved T-shirts, and 4 short sleeves
-2 thin fleece sweaters
-2 fleece
-1 rain jacket
-Socks, underwear, and bras
-First aid kit: Imodium and something against headaches, something to disinfect water (which I should have used earlier than today), earplugs, Snickers
-Towel
-Toothbrush, toothpaste, brush (with integrated mirror), shampoo and soap
-Hanker chiefs
-Walking shoes and sneakers
-Sleeping bag
-Pyjama
-What took most of my place: Cameras and computer, music to listen to, and 2 books (which should have been 5)

(What I could have left home: knickers and short, 1 fleece)

PPS: In case you wonder what I will live on the next 2 weeks: Snickers and bananas (with bread).
During all my journeys they have proven to be the best remedy and the only thing to be sure you dont end up on the loo again. And Coca-Cola/Fanta (instead of local water)
Cheap way to survive.
And easy diet. Just think of the awful time youll spend in the bathroom, and in less than 15 seconds you remember why to stick to it.

Posted on September 13, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Living in Kosovo

How can you live in Israel? Isabelle asked. I looked at her, and had to smile. You are living in Kosovo and you wonder how I can live in Israel?
Isabelle is working for the Balkanactie and lives in Shtime.
Nonono, Kosovo is not the same.
Well, why not? You are clearly living in an area where foreign army and police officers are controlling the situation, and several times a month there are things going on. On tofp of it you can be sure that most of the people have somewhere a Kalashnikov hidden.
But it is not the same.

When yesterday we went eating with an American police officer, and I asked about the guns everybody is hiding, he agreed. In almost every checking of a car, we find guns
Where they hide guns? Under the bed, in the kitchen, in closets
Isabelles mind slowly changes But, well we dont have the bombings.
Oh yes, we do, Bob continues. Yesterday there was a shooting in Ferizaye, 4 days ago there was a bombing in Pristina, and if you go up north it is really not safe to go to.
Meanwhile, due to political discussions a war is nearing in Macedonia (a lot of bombings there lately) and also Bosnia stays a conflict area, although the UN has finished its task there.
This concerning this area. I am really happy I didnt tell these things to my grandmother before I left (seems that the last 2 weeks she is nagging about the fact that the situation is getting worse in Israel and I should stay in Belgium, like normal people. My mother has to repeat this to me and try stick these things in my head. My mother is not really convincing on that part)

The big posters in the streets, telling the people to give back their arms, are not really convincing anybody here. How comes? What would you do if only three years ago your neighbour was trying to kill you?
Seems in this area, on Sunday, when people get married (and wow, they marry a lot here) Albanians drive around, go to the Serbian neighbourhood and wave the Albanian flags. Where after the Serbs go to the police office and claim attempts to kidnapping.
Big children with dangerous guns

I guess now bit by bit I get to understand what Israel would look like if they would not divide the country. (As long as people are unhappy with such a solution and treated in different ways, the idea of one state will be utopia) But then again a nation on ethnic basis is not a good basis; always your neighbour will be an enemy

Some things are quite funny to see here. How women dress up like in American movies or like on European fashion channels. Hours and hours they spend in front of the mirror (and they are worse than some ladies I know Imagine.) before they go parade in the streets. There they kind of seduce men, BUT the guys cant do a thing, because in the end this stays a pretty conservative place, and you cant just do what you want with a girl.
Also the guys are dressed up all the time. The hairdresser is a very busy man in a place where 80% of the people is unemployed.
Wages are around 200 euro a month, but when you work for UN, you get 2000 euro a month. Something not very improving people to go to work. Why would I work for 200 euro if there are jobs where you can earn 2000 euro? So most of them try to get to Europe to go and work there and come back to invest that money here.
Some of them go in official ways, many of them go unofficial.
Unofficial means: a passport with visa is around 2500 euro. Off course fake. Or stolen.
A Belgian passport is cheap here, because easily to get (Remember that some time ago a lot of Belgian passports were stolen, I guess they brought them here)
Everybody seems to have a brother or sister that is somewhere in Europe. (Most popular places: Germany, England and Belgium) And off course they send money to their families.
These families build new houses; get to be the nouveau riche, and spend time in cafés drinking coffees, doing nothing all day long.

Lees meer "Living in Kosovo" »

Posted on September 14, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Boysboysboys...Girlzgirlzgirlz...

Sometimes it is hard to be somewhere and knowing you have to take good pictures.
Kosovo is a place like that.
Last days have been hard on me, and at some moment Id prefer to take the first flight home.
Today I was still convinced of ordering this flight till I checked my pictures (thank you digital photography) and I saw one of the pictures I came for.
This beautiful girl looking right into my lens, straight blue-eyed.
It is a pose but in a way it looks so natural.
Wow. She seems so strong in the picture, but in real she smiled very softly and said thank you. I was the one to say thank you. Shell never know (This is the moment you fall in love for a second, just for the pose, as Lieve Blancquaert puts it.) Few moments later I fall again in love for a second. A boys eyes glances in my lens, a mecanic with a wonderful characteristic face.
So I doubt on changing that flight.

Posted on September 14, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Albert

In every country you come, you get to know some people that will mean a lot for you.
In this country for me that is what Albert and his family became.
The story of Albert is stunning.
Today he told it to me.

His parents had some problems with their health. His mother got cancer and his father got sick, so they had to sell their photo shop to be able to pay the medicines.
When his father got better, he started to make some fast food for youngsters loved it.

And then there was war.

Albert was working in a Serb place and the neighbours started whispering, so he stopped. And started somewhere else.
War was worse then, and in the city they lived a group called the black hand was killing people at night. Who was walking the streets got killed. They even cut people into pieces, it was a horrible thing they did, not human.
Albert started to take pictures of these guys and handed over those pictures to the NATO who was able to catch them that way.
Good for the sake of Kosovo but things got very dangerous for Albert.
And Serbs were looking for him. So he decided to look for refuge abroad.
Several times they tried to escape, and had to return because there were Serbs in the neighbourhood.
Albert was staying at his grandfathers house, by then, and the Serbs were awaiting him at his place.
So he decided he really had to go far away.
He went to his girlfriends father and asked whether he could take her. No.
Ok, he said, but I really go now, I really have to go. And few hours later, before he left, the father of his girlfriend arrived with her and her sister to say they could go but that he had to take care of the sister too. She was still very young and the city had become too dangerous for girls. So Albert looked for refuge in Macedonia. They met with their aunt and her children, and together they went for Belgium, in a plane of the army.
He stayed one year, meanwhile sending money to his parents, who were trying to rebuild their house - they had gone for Malta, and when they came back nothing was left of their home- and after one year Albert had to return home.
With the money he had saved, he bought a photo machine. He rented a little shop and started to do better.

Now, 3 machines later, he has a decent shop. But still it is very hard to survive.
He and his father work in the shop, their business is supporting the mother, the father, Albert, his wife and their kid, and 2 brothers. They live all together in one house, which is rebuild bits and pieces after the war.
They gain enough money to survive, but can not save or invest. He would love a second floor in the house, but cant afford it.

Posted on September 17, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Casablanca

Yesterday we went to Club Casablanca. In Ferizaye.
It was great. I havent been dancing like that since the Gentse Feesten, and yet here we were 2 foreign girls (Isabelle was accompanying me) with a bar full of unknown people. Having loads of fun.
My friend Albert brought along his wife, and her 3 sisters (which I am taking pictures of for my project) I insisted last week on paying them something back, because they have been giving me drinks and food all the time.
So I guess this evening was worth every penny, because we have all a bunch of memories. (Loads of alcohol for 40 euro; my fear of being totally broke was not needed. For the same amount of drinks in Belgium I would have had to pay at least 90 euro.)
In the end the police was coming in trying to close the club because it was after 12(!)
Yes, people start going out round 8.30 and go home around 11
We could make it till 1.30, and I guess only for that reason they will talk about this in town for the next weeks (according to Albert)
Dancing the only traditional dance for hours and feet that were killing everybody (well Isabelle and Vittoria, dont go for those high heels)
Great memory, pictures will follow.

Posted on September 20, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Peje

The last two days I have been in Pejë.
Pejë lies near the border with Monte Negro and Albania, and here one of the hardest fights between Serbs and Kosovars happened.
It is an area that was pretty damaged
Still after 3 years, it is one of the unsafe places in Kosovo.
But, Steven and Tom told me almost all the Miss Kosovos came from this place.
I have to say I think they were all busy with preparing for this contest instead of parading in the streets

We were invited at Stevens family where a niece that has been living in Germany for the last 10 years gave a quite clear view on things, and on the way people see life here.
In Germany everybody works from 9 till 5, every day, they save money, buy houses and die. My husband and me worked, I never saw him, so I decided to have stop working, and enjoy life. I had a nice car, and took holidays every month. People didnt understand. But it is very simple: we dont have savings.
You people work for a whole year to be happy to go to Spain for two weeks. You are crazy. I want to have a life.

I guess it is something that I saw the last few years. Many people doing not so much.
And maybe for us this is impossible to understand, but for many others what we do is also difficult to understand.
Working has become the most important thing in life, and a job is a status. We work weeks of 38 hours, but we forget to mention the overtime we are doing.
If we dont have a job, we dont feel good about that because society looks down on us.

I have been working part-time the last 3 years, and not the most splendid jobs (in which I surely dont want to end my career) but I gained money to live and to travel, and the rest of the week I was doing what I wanted to do.
Still my grandmother asked me some time ago: And when do you begin a real job?
But what if this is my real job? What if I enjoy what I am doing now?
(And for sure, if I want a baby, things will have to become different, but still.)
Why would I have the intention to go overdoses working, if things work this way?

The niece mentioned some more things, and I was not always agreeing on what she said.
But I guess you have to take a little bit of one culture and a little bit of another and makes things your own.

Steven drove us into these magnificent views on the way to the Monte Negro border.
It is an idyllic pass through the mountains, where massive stones reach for heaven.
I enjoyed it. Although Steven wanted to show me the border, Tom didnt agree on it. Seems that over there the real mafia is gathering. Last time they came, Steven mentioned that most of the people have guns in their car, and the moment he mentioned it, in the car next to theirs, a pretty girl waved with a very real gun according to Tom. So he was not keen on going again.

Later on we drove back to Shtime, but not without difficulties
On the way home, the KFOR (Kosovarian FORces Italians in this case) stopped us. Well, not only the KFOR, also the Blue Helmets, the local police and international police where in the team.
Hands on guns and Stay in the car, may we check your papers. Was a quite ironic view on life.
We were checked one by one. Profoundly. We all had to do the American thing: hands and legs spread while they were checking are pockets and my breasts (Woman police officer that didnt look as Miss Kosovo at all, and that could have taken a mint for not breathing garlic into my face)
They were not nice, not to say rude.
We couldnt talk, were not allowed to smoke and had to wait in the cold under supervision of a soldier with an AK17.
Not that I mind all of this. They are doing their job: trying to find guns in cars, but at least they can be friendly. You are not guilty before proven
Although we were foreigners with a KFOR-pass (NGO, remember) we got the usual treatment, and if this is the usual treatment, how should Kosovars feel about this?
Tom didnt like it at all, and in a way he was right.
This treatment could be compared with the Israeli in the Occupied Territories were they are indeed the oppressor. Here the KFOR is not supposed to be an oppressor.

One thing got very clear during my staying here: when the KFOR leaves, within 2 days there is war again

The weekend was splendid and totally different from Shtime or Pristine (which was a relief), maybe one day they are able to make a touristy cosy place out of it. Maybe then, if the guns have disappeared, you should go and visit it

Posted on September 22, 2003
in Travels - Kosovo

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Queens and deserts...

Today Tamar has a selection for 'queen of the desert'.
Out of 6000 women, she and 149 others got selected.
Today is the last selection. Only 40 will succeed and be able to go to Thailand with jeeps (//Camel trophy, but for women)

If you want to support her, drop a mail at tamare@bezalel.ac.il

From me this one:
Yalla, mami! Go for it!
The sky is never the limit...

Posted on September 22, 2003
in Friends around

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Why I don't doubt I will fly one day

To Fly Has Been a Dream...

On a bright sunny day with the sky as clear as crystal glass, you peer out into the open sky to the land down below. The door opens in front of you the wind rushes into the aircraft. You step out falling freely away as if you were a bird soaring on the winds of time. You peer back to the aircraft for a brief second to see it speeding away. You feel weightless as the wind roars around you.
You have been given the signal to jump. "It's like being on top of the world." As you exit the aircraft falling toward the earth, you're able to spin, twist, flip, turn, roll, surf, and perform an aerobatic display without the force of gravity restricting you.
Finally you have reached the parachute ride. You have pulled your ripcord and have a full parachute deployed.

One day we will...

Posted on September 23, 2003

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Quantum reality...

Was rereading fragments in a book.
Ever read Jeanette Winterson? No, so you should...
She is gay and I admit the first reason why I started reading her. But then you read these amazing passages...
She got famous by a book called 'Oranges are not the only fruit' but I love her last one: Powerbook.

Out of her site on Powerbook:

'To avoid discovery I stay on the run.
To discover things for myself, I stay on the run

The.PowerBook is twenty first century fiction that uses past, present and future as shifting dimensions of a multiple reality. The story is simple. An e-writer called Ali, or Alix (because x marks the spot), will pin up a story for you, cut it to fit. She is a language costumier, writing to order, letting you be the hero of your own life, offering you freedom just for one night.

The price? Risk. You risk entering the story as yourself and leaving it as someone else. But if the narrative changes, then so does the narrator, as Ali discovers this is a price she too will have to pay.

Set in London, Paris, Capri and cyberspace, this is a book that re-invents itself as it travels. Using cover-versions, fairy tales, contemporary myths and popular culture, The PowerBook works at the intersection between the real and the imagined.

It's territory is you. '

Lees meer "Quantum reality..." »

Posted on September 23, 2003
in Limit of my knowledge

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Ordered some books

While surfin' and thinking, decided to order some books for Israel.
I have to keep some titles secret, in order to keep the surprise, but decided to read Ayn Rand after all.
A friend recommended the books, and she (!) keeps on appearing in articles and magazines I read...
The other books will be read on nice evenings and beautiful sunsets. With feet in the air...
Checked Amazon to buy, but changed into Proxis.be after all. Cheaper and heck I am pretty sure the books will arrive since I sent them to Belgium and not to Israel -found out that postoffice doesn't work that well and I have to pay import fee...-
If you have other recommandations for books, please mail me. Because 8 months without books is a disaster...
And 'good second hand' or 'left overs' or 'read it, don't need it anymore' can be given on good-bye party.

Posted on September 24, 2003
in Living in Belgium

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Project in my mailbox

Today I got an amazing project in my mailbox.
And since I am still free in February...
(NY is planned for March/April, if not cancelled, right?)
Even if I would not be free, I'd make myself free...

On the project. Don't want to release much before plans get concrete.

Anyway the amazing thing was, that, before checking my mails, last night, my mind got full of ideas. But ideas where the puzzle fits.

Still busy with organizing the 'Snow in Jerusalem' project. And I want to go through with it, although it will be a hard job.
Since the conflict got into high tension, things will be difficult in Israel/Palestine.
But nothing can't be too difficult...

Busy with making this thing realistic, I was counting everything out, how to make it known in Belgium etc.
Writing all these things out, comparing fees for such projects, fitting in...

And suddenly this mail arrives. Saying similar things.
Doing similar things.

Because in the end it comes down to the same: telling people things, and focussing on children.

Because the rest doesn't seem to listen...

This is one of the things, if I wonder what I am busy with, I only can answer one thing...
Linking.
Due to a lot of travels, and contacts with organisations, I can write some emails and reach a whole public in different countries.
And seems that a lot of my friends have the same.

They say that you can get to a person in less than 5 steps. See Smallworld.

I guess I want to get to a point where I only need 1 step with certain people.

Always reach for the impossible... grin.