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Archives: October 2003

If you are not scared...

Outside it's raining, still you shine
How I've missed your trembling hands inside of mine
I've been away for ages, still you care
Do you count the Sundays when I'm there

Teach me how to watch this game
The way you see it through your magical frame
Time is ticking, try to see
That I am you and you are me

Don't deny that you're afraid to go
Don't deny that you want to cry
Look around and watch your children grow
I feel love in every sigh
If you're not scared, then why am I

Tell me stories, tell me more
Make me feel guilty for being bored
Tell me how to pick up things I've dropped
Please keep talking, never stop

Don't deny that you're afraid to go
Don't deny that you want to cry
Look around and watch your children grow
I feel love in every sigh
Pray for eternity to fly
Don't understand but how I try
If you're not scared, then why am I I feel love in every sigh
Pray for eternity to fly
Don't understand but how I try
If you're not scared, then why am I...

out of: K's Choice "Cocoon Crash"

Posted on October 1, 2003
in Limit of my knowledge

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Letter to a lost friend

Today something scratched my heart.
Guess I am realizing what is going on.
Have been living on a cloud since arrival in Belgium.
And that cloud has been large enough to neglect the emptiness behind it.
I have been floating all summer, but by now, the big haziness has shrunk till a little cloud, and I feel I can fall in the empty sky.

This time at home has been too short, and I didnt visit enough friends, and the work has been killing.
In a way, I have the feeling most of my friends here didnt see what has changed in me.
And I didnt see their changes.

Only now, I took some time to look around.

And only now I realize that the friends I thought to have, are not the same as the ones I have.
Normally these things are part of life, and things go up and down. And I can easily settle with that.
But when a friend, one of those that only fit on the fingers of one hand, is not on that hand anymore, it hurts.

It hurts like hell.

Because you felt what was going on, but you dont want to see this reality.
Until you have to.

I miss you. I really do.
And not we, the ones that this magnificent stupid things, and not we, where I tried to have to much we and not you and I.
I miss you as in you. As this amazing person that might be as uncertain as me, but has a head full of great ideas. And knowledge. Potential. A friend that everybody would love to have.

I never meant to push things, and when I give this impression you can always tell me to stop. I will never be mad because of that. I would have never been

Maybe we crossed the lines, and maybe we stepped over the bridges. But we didnt blow them up. Did we?

Posted on October 4, 2003
in Limit of my knowledge

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Great night

I had a splendid evening last weekend. On Friday we gathered with our fantastic team.
MasTuVu. A bunch of people with capacity toasting on jobs.
With splendid Bernard Massard.
The feeling of such a thing is great.
People together, daring to believe in something.

We will be seen, we can assure you.
Soon in your neighbourhood ;)

Posted on October 5, 2003
in Projects

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Israel goes crazy?

Today in New York Daily (and lots of other newspapers...):

Israelis hit Syria
Avenge suicide attack by blasting Jihad camp
(By BILL HUTCHINSON)

Vowing to pursue terrorists and their supporters no matter where, Israel avenged a deadly weekend suicide bomb by blowing up what it said was an Islamic Jihad training camp in Syria.
The retaliatory strike, 10 miles outside of the Syrian capital of Damascus, represented a major new escalation in Israel's war on terror.
It was the first time in three decades that Israel had struck inside Syria, which the United States repeatedly has slammed for its support of terrorism.

"We will take whatever measure is necessary to defend our citizens, regardless of geographical location of these training camps," said Raanan Gissin, a spokesman for Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon.

He told CNN that Israel has decided "to enlarge the scope of our operation against the Islamic Jihad and Hamas."

U.S. allies Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Egypt and Jordan immediately condemned the strike, while Syria denied the site hit by Israel was a training camp.

What is going on?
Why are the Israeli ready to risk so much?
Why aren't they working together with the Americans in order to attack 'terroristic groups'?
Not so long ago the UN decided that groups like Hamas are terroristic groups and can be attacked.. So why is Israel attacking alone?
I really don't get it.

They are looking for peace? I don't see it, to me it looks like they are looking for war.

I think I should reconsider my flying ticket. I'll opt for open retour... For sure.

Posted on October 6, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Linking contexts

Tonight had a quiet but splendid night.
One of my long lasting friends invited me to dinner, and we had an interesting conversation. Not on the travels, not on the experiences, but on the linking behind.
On trying to catch the bigger context.
It is nice to be able trying to explain things behind the obvious.
It is difficult.

And while Hooverphonic and Annie Lennox were singing songs in the background, and déjà-vus passed me by, she told me my linking context might be a totally different perspective on things, different because of a different history, background and a different now. And of course these are things I know, but sometimes it is good to remark it once in a while, because we forget.

In the end she had me there. Saying Well, although you say you have changed, some things have stayed exactly the same.

I guess I have to admit.
Some things have stayed exactly the same

Posted on October 7, 2003
in Living in Belgium

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Heaven is in your arms

Off we go. Tamar and I leave at 5 in the morning to the airport. To take a flight to Eilat.
To be honest, I probably would have taken the bus, because 5 hours on a bus is nothing compared to what I experienced in Turkey. But the mqin reason is my growing dislike to fly in Israel.
Anyway, we're flying...
Arrived in time (which is a real miracle if you know Tamar -just joking-) I get suddenly the usual international security check-up.
And yes, we miss our flight.
Because? Just because.
Man, I am taking an INTERNAL flight, if I would take a bomb, I would take a bus, not a plane.
They checked all luggage anyway, so why the questionary
So here we got: stuck in an airport, waiting for the next flight...
To be continued...

Continue...
At arrival we take a cab to the border, where we go to the border. It is amazing to see how Israel gets money from this going out... A cab for 10 euro, going out of Israel costs us 20 euro each person. Egypt does well to. Going in for free, but the cab costs 10 euro each person, entering the desert costs us 6 euro each person. Only for going and passing.
Tamar gets a little bit upset by this. 'We could have taken a flight to Cyprus or something, all included' I smile. I know what the desert is and what it does, I know she will relax and afterwards forget why she payed this money anyway...
And when we arrive at our superdeluxe husha's I know I am right.
Suddenly rest and peace get into everything.
I said to John I was going to sleep here for 4 days. Well, that's what I did: sleep and read.
Heaven...

Posted on October 8, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Blogging

Have been surfing around lately, to check possibilities of Photoblog.be.
Found interesting stuff.
Stuff that makes me want to change my blog totally.
Will be busy with it, but first finish adding all the older posts into this new one... Another 5 days to go for that... Grin.

Posted on October 8, 2003
in Projects - PhotoBlog.net

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Linking context part II

What happens if you build around you an interesting platform where individual artists can subscribe?

The answer on that one you can find on www.artichoc.be. After one year the thing didn't became the biggest succes ever, but it reached something.

For me I met some fantastic artists, some of them I never saw, others I went to meet afterwards.
This interaction is great, because you meet people with the same interests (and sometimes not) but the surprise is great.
Also the fact that it is easier to get in touch with someone.
Lomohomes is a bigger internet-community but has the same effects. You mail, you get an answer and if interested you can continue mailing and even eventually meet.

Everybody knows the amazing stories of people that met through the web and started a love affair. They seem strange.

And yet, I know some of these people, and they don't seem strange to me.
Not at all.

I guess in this new society we discover new ways to find people that have the same interests.
Maybe it is even not so bad. Having to hang around in cafes and pubs, in clubs or other places isn't the most interesting place after all...

Posted on October 9, 2003
in Living in Belgium

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Tel Aviv calling

I got a phonecall today. From Tel Aviv.
And through a bad connection I could still understand almost all words.
I loved hearing the voice.
I loved reading words from a friend 'Yalla baby, come home.'
I enjoyed chatting with my pessimistic friend in Palestine.'It's fucked up.'

I guess it is strange to know that in 2 weeks I leave again.
And although this time things are totally different from my first time leaving for Tel Aviv, it will be still a jump in the dark.

It is always difficult and dangerous to go back to a certain place for the second time. Because you have expectations.
First time you never have, or if you have, you still don't know what reality will be like.
Going back to a place where you have been, is going back to something you know.

I try to drop the expectations, and realize things might be not as shiny as I would want them to be. Projects may be hard to realize. Pictures may be difficult to take.

One without expectations can't be dissapointed.
But who do we know without expectations?

Yes, I'll bring a bottle of champagne, and somebody will bring the strawberries, or the litchies, or the mango or whatever. And we'll sit on the beach.

As for the rest... We'll see.

We'll see. (smile)

Posted on October 9, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Salam Pax

The first time I heard the word for what I was doing, was in December 2002. Salam Pax is an Iraqi, telling his stories on Iraq. In a blog.
Journalists found out about him and suddenly he was worldfamous. (and with him the blogging era started. www.blogger.com crashed because of too many visitors on Salam's site)
Discussions whether he was real are not belong now to the past.
He is real, he gave the most (un)usual view on the war in Iraq, and I trusted it more than any CNN, Ina or even BBC-reports.

Salam is still alive. He is now a journalist. Thanks to his blog.

Amazing what he has to say to this:

"my life has taken a sharp turn towards the surreal.
it starts with this [The Baghdad Blog].
did you see the promo, it is so scary it freaked me out the first time I saw it. do turn up the volume, the track is by the Aphex Twin and when Intro contacted Warp records they said that they can choose any track they want by the Aphex Twin and it's for free. Warp even has the promo linked from its site.
Then there is the today show on BBC Radio 4 later followed by a web chat.
a radio interview with Late Night Live in *australia*.
A daily telegraph piece (needs registration).
A web page on the Guardian site.
A million other interviews by people who are nice enough to bring me books as presents.

Salam Pax has developed a life of his own, he is not me anymore. and I miss baghdad like hell.
:: salam 2:42 PM [+] :: "

Read it! It is far more intersting than what tele shows us every evening. He is supporting a democratic Iraq, but dares to have an opinion on what the American soldiers are doing.

--> dear_raed.blogspot.com

This is how journalism should be...

Posted on October 10, 2003
in Travels - Iraq

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Photoblog is a blast!

Some people didn't see me lately. True.
Have been working on the comp for a while. To realize this blog as it is, and to thinktank Photoblog.

After 2 weeks of beta-launch we have already 75 people, most of them are Belgians, but we seems to have an certain attraction in Singapore...
Israel is peeking to, and one to mention: my friend Yasser.

As a Palestinian he is busy with his organisation Karama.
They have a lack of money, so whatever you think of might help.

They started a blog. Today (so if you surf don't expect the big thing already, that will follow for sure)

Enjoy.

(karama blog)

Posted on October 11, 2003
in Projects - PhotoBlog.net

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Flight confirmed

This reminds me of exactly one year ago...
But yes, it is the confirmation for next week...
Sigal and Tamar, be prepared...

SN BRUSSELS AIRLINES - SN 3291
THU 23OCT BRUSSELS BE TELAVIV YAFO IL 1910 2335
NATIONAL BEN GURIO INTL
NON STOP DURATION 4:25
NON SMOKING
RESERVATION CONFIRMED - L ECONOMY
ON BOARD: DINNER
AIRCRAFT OWNER :SN SN BRUSSELS AIRLINES
COCKPIT CREW :SN SN BRUSSELS AIRLINES
CABIN CREW :SN SN BRUSSELS AIRLINES
EQUIPMENT:AIRBUS INDUSTRIE A319
SEAT 13D NO SMOKING CONFIRMED DEHANDSCHUTTER/INEMRS

Posted on October 13, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Belgian fries

I don't know why, but everytime I pass by an 'frietkot' (little sofisticated caravans where they sell ~~French~~ Belgian fries) I have the immediate urge to go inside and eat...
I guess it has to do with the fact that I am leaving in one week.
And the fact is that there are no Belgian fries in Tel Aviv nor in Daheisheh.
No offence. But there just aren't.
So you mention Mac Do's? Give me a break. The tiny long fries they sell are cold in a sec, and they don't offer you the beautiful sauces nor the disgusting meat (they just give you other disgusting meat that even tastes disgusting...)
Yesterday I passed by a Mac Do's, and let me tell you, the smell of it is totally different from a Belgian 'frietkot'. The first smells awful, the second smells like something haute-cuisine to some of us.
And I can tell, yesterday, I enjoyed my fries as much as a plate of haute-cuisine.
I guess other people can have the same urge to buy such a tiny little package once in a while.
I remember this lady I was accompanying, a friend and tourist in my town, who felt the urge to eat fries with tartar at 4 o'clock in the morning...
Me, always supposing this was only something what's called 'a Belgian attitude' looked at her with big eyes: 'It is 4 o'clock in the night... You are not joking?'
She was not.
So there we were, she, enjoying her Belgian fries, me to amazed to eat something and wondering who was the Belgian in this scenery.

Posted on October 15, 2003
in Living in Belgium

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Getting a visum

This morning I went to the Embassy of Israel in Brussels.
Although this embassy is not where the others are, this is probably the best protected... All the time one combi checking everything, and closed as a prison.
Israeli security guys checking everything, even my grandfather who was just parking the car and strolling a little bit while awaiting me (yeahyeah, he looks like an Italian maffiosi ready to explode embassies...)
Anyway, me going inside to get an visum would turn out to be me coming out of an emabassy without a visum...
Sometimes I wonder how complicate they make their administrative tools...
I called before coming: 'No problem, just come and fetch it'.
And then when you arrive:'Sorry you'll have to come back.'
'Why?' 'You need to bring the letter that says you got a scholarship.'
'Why? This embassy has sent it to me, so somebody in here should know. There has to be a copy here.' 'Yeah maybe, but you should send it.'
Give me a break...
And again the questions on the stamps in my passport...
C'mon, don't you see I got a stamp for Israel after the other stamps?
I have been there for 8 months already.
Security check all over...
Suddenly all these questionaries, all this paperwork comes back...
I'll be prepared.
Because maybe when I fetch the passport a next questionary, and when I catch a plane again and when I land in Tel Aviv I will have to repeat again...
Shall I just say I go to see a lover? :)

So this story: will be continued. Will she get a passport or not??? grin.

Posted on October 15, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Photoblog day today

Well it was yesterday too...
And will be some more days.
But it is FUN!

Today I got the article of FOTO, this magazine will publish the story of Photoblog.be, and it means for us: more bloggers.

They send me the pics they need, and amazingly they want one of my pics on Israel, big size.
Next to this they want some pics of friends/bloggers to show.
I guess these friends will be flattered.
I hope they start updating their blog, so the new visitors can enjoy more of their work. Because I tell you: they ARE good.

This is why Photoblog is furfilling, just like artichoc.be: because we are not selling lies, we are building a qualitive community that is worth watching.

And others have to know. ;)

Check it!

(pic that will be published)

Posted on October 17, 2003
in Projects - PhotoBlog.net

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Embassy story

Today I checked for my visum...
Well seems I have 2 sick persons now, and no visum yet...
Great.
Hopefully they work this afternoon and give me a call.

The woman on the phone was short with words. Don't know how to say this in English, in Dutch they say 'afgemeten', like she didn't want to spill a worth to much.
Prepares me on what will come.
Although I know Israel a little bit by now, the culture shock will be big again.
The goodmorning or friendly hello seems a waste of time, and can be dropped.
It happens all the time when you visit a shop or whatever. They look at you with amazed eyes, when you wish them a happy morning and after the visit a happy day.
They really don't understand.
(I have to explain this because otherwise my friends will kill me... This habit is applied to strangers, people they don't know, once they know you, you'll get anything. And exceptions do exist. -exactly these exceptions are now my friends ;) -)

After a short good bye the phone clicked and I was thinking: No visum yet... 4 days to go...

Posted on October 17, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Beautiful ladies from Tel Aviv calling

So got a bunch of mails... Sigal moved to a bigger apartment, and I can stay there for a while.
Sooooo curious to see (seems we ;) have a big garden.)
And guess what, it is closer to the sea than where I stayed before.
Will be reading books on the beach soon.
Only 6 days to go...

Let's party...

Posted on October 17, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Driving circles

Two days ago:
Driving to Ghent in the morning.
On the roundabout to the highway, Kristin Hersh is driving circles around me.
I circle around the roundabout with a big time smile.
Again and again.

Last night: I see this moon become the same moon as you see over there..
Depeche Mode is singing its single collection of ancient times.
I smile again.

The same feeling of happiness overwhelms me.
The last days have been days with friends. And they were great.
Staying over in different homes never has been a problem, sleeping in different beds neither. For the nice long talks in the evening Ild sleep on a bare ground.

Yes I am a lucky bastard, travelling around. Enjoying my time and freedom.
Living on the edge of being poor according to my mother, but living on the edge in all terms according me.

And I have to admit: it is only due to those family and friends that I am able to do so.
The back up at home (for my invoices etc) is superb (thanks mum), the back up for me dragging every body/thing around is always there (thanks granddad), solutions for unexpected phonebills or the lending of cars when urgently needed etc.
And friends with sleepingplaces Couldnt have managed without them.
Nor without their talks.

Yes, Ill miss you all.

Ill even miss the living at home (who would ever have expected this?) It wasnt so bad.
Ok, I wasnt around much, but the evenings at home with mum in the same sofa, watching TV were quite cosy. And reminded me of 6,7 years ago.
(I made quite a mess in my room, but I am sure shell miss it once I am away.)

Tonight I was chatting with Tel Aviv on big screen, Belgian friends following the talks, I visited the photoblog where friends from all over are communicating with eachother. Suddenly I realized my two worlds are quite integrated.
Within some days Ill take a plane. 2 months later Ill take a plane back.

The world isnt so big after all

Posted on October 18, 2003
in Living in Belgium

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Random thoughts shooting around in my head

Last week has been a splendid autumn week. Sun has been shining all the time.
Like my grandmother has been praying to the gods of the weather, in order to keep me at home, by saying: the sun is shining here too.
She forget to order the temperature

But the colors are wonderful, autumn colors of orange brow green and yellow.
Which reminds me of a documentary of Michael Moore (he made also Bowling for Colombine, and wrote this magnificent letter to the president of the USA)
The documentary is on the closing of the General Motors factory in Michigan, in the eighties. (I spare you the links my minds makes to come from autumn to a documentary)
Quite interesting documentary, since in Belgium General Motors decided to fire 3000! people. Which is actually closing down the whole plant

The same thing happened in 97, when Renault closed down. I followed it during several months (published in a book). Strikes, busses going to Paris to demonstrate, policemen trying to stop the destruction passing by.
I guess it was one of the last times we had a big strike, with some violence.

After this big strikes the only big thing happening was the White March, people wearing white T-shirts and balloons, against the Marc Dutroux-monster and the system that let this happen.
The closure of Sabena had a great impact, not because there were many people striking, but because the people that were striking made the planes not leaving.

The people of Ford Genk didnt do such big strikes by now.
Only yesterday they had a major thing: a popfestival
Like we dont care anymore, or dont have the strength to go and demonstrate.

Thats why I was surprised to know and to see that last year so many people demonstrated against the war. At least some hope. We didnt become as passive as we thought we were. (Only a pity it didnt help)

Queen is singing We are the champions, and we keep on fighting till the end

I wonder were those champions went

Yesterday on Nachtwacht there was a discussion on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
Pretty interesting, although the one person in the panel that might say some interesting things (Rudi Vrancx) was pretty silent.

I went on their website, to read what the watcher had to say on the discussion.
Well, this is the part where it became interesting. And funny.
Useless discussions in which people wanted to say something on a conflict, many of them dont even know the real context.
Like they say in Dutch De beste stuurlui staan aan wal.
Maybe they should reconsider the use of forums on sites

Also yesterday Radio 1 called, asking if I wanted to be in the studio for a year review in the end of this year.
Off course (I will have to do some good research though. I am convinced that I know quite some things on the subject now, but still, this thing is so complicated you can study it for 30 years)
The radio crew is considering coming over to Tel Aviv to make a documentary. Recent news on the situation is scary. And for this reason they doubt.

People I meet dont understand how I can go again, and my grandmother is starting the same talks as one year ago. And why does your mother let you go?
I asked her. Because it is no use in saying something to you, youll go anyway. Once you made up your mind.
I had to smile.

And because the 15/20 people dying a month is still 15/20 on an amount of 7 million.
You can count my chances
After all I still wonder who might be safer: me in Tel Aviv or you in Brussels at night?

One thing is sure: the sun in Tel Aviv is shining warmer. :)

(Image found while driving in Flanders, saying 'Epie, do you want to marry me?'
Only in Belgium...)

Posted on October 19, 2003
in Living in Belgium

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Photoshooting

Had to do quick photoshooting of a farmer and his wife... (illustration so was allowed to fake things...)
Thank you my sweetest Koen! (and girlfriend off course!)

And yes we had fun.

Posted on October 19, 2003
in Living in Belgium

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Loneliness

Yesterday Bart and I went to visit a sweetest girl from Kosovo, living here in Belgium.
Shes legal in the country but has no papers, a so called sans-papiers.
Her eyes were sad.
Captured in a country which does not accept her, and captured because going back to Kosovo is no option for her.
She saw too many cruel things during the war.
Although she is missing her family like crazy, the thought of going back to that country is worse.

Belgium could have been a promised country but it didnt turned out to be till now.
Waiting for 3,5 years to get papers, which are delayed, insecurity, no work permission, but costs to pay (rent etc.)

Thanks to her friendly house keeper, who helps her out, thanks to her sister who is helping her out, she is able to survive her solitude.

But loneliness can break you.
We could see it in her eyes, and the cry that stayed inside.

We walked in and 3 hours walked out of the house.
Strangers but accepted as friends.
If only we could do the same for them

Posted on October 21, 2003
in Limit of my knowledge

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Pink elephants

Did a little good bye drink last night.
Nothing spectacular, just cosy with bubble bottles.
We had a laugh, and an oupsasa.
And the oohs and the aahs.
Still it meant a lot to me.

I have been running around in Belgium, to earn money, to be able to go again.
I didnt have a real home in Ghent, and suddenly I realized how much there is to arrange to see each other if the distance gets bigger. Cars, sleeping places, the convincing of sisters to sleep over
So I guess I didnt see those friends as much as I wanted to see them.
(But have to say, every time I saw one of them it was great.)

Last night was the night of saying good bye again.
And if you wonder if I will miss them, off course I will.
Their funny jokes around, and the bottles of bubbles, the talks about photography, or about life. Or about everything and nothing.
Or maybe only about nothing.
Doesnt matter.

The glances in their eyes.

I told somebody that I had the feeling that I lost some friends. In a way, that things had changed.
She answered me: but you saw pink elephants in the sky. You caught that moment. It is yours.
It took me a while to understand it. But now I do.
Things might have changed. They always do. But we caught pink elephants in the sky

Posted on October 22, 2003
in Living in Belgium

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Leaving

Only few hours to go... Flight Tel Aviv will take off.
There we go again...

Smiling from here till there.
(Put your arms wide open. Wider... Everything what's in between and more...)

For all those that I didn't see before take off: sorry. Have been running lately.
But you're in my head.
For those I saw: thanks for the magnificent hours. I enjoyed the bubbles.

Soo much ;)

Bubbles ready in my bag, to open on a wide empty beach in TLV.
I'll picture it.
(Standing in a T-shirt in 30 degrees... hehehe... to people in TLV: we have extreme temperatures in Belgium: 2 degrees today. Brrrrr. Looking forward to feel your sun on my skin.)

Posted on October 23, 2003
in Living in Israel

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I arrived

Who would ever assumed 4 days ago that I really would get here after all. The girls in the embassy decided after 4 days that I could get my passport -and this time it even has the right inscription: student at Bezalel. Last year I was studying at Tel Aviv University according to the embassy-
So I got on the plane, the funny thing was by check up in the airport they didn't understand why I had a visum. So I had to explain them. Funny world upside down.
At arrival I got the smootest entry ever: no questions, no check ups of luggage.
And there I was, standing in Tel Aviv again.
And some moments later: there they were, two stunning ladies, coming to pick me up.
Taking me home.
After long talks and cuddles and hugs, I felt asleep.
Safely arrived indeed.

Posted on October 24, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Dinner at Shelly's

Today shabbat. Having dinner at Shelly's. Tamar's sis.
And suddenly the Israeli noises come back...
I am not used to it anymore. It is a funny cosy evening, but heck I never understood how they can understand each other in soo much noise.
Television in the background, 6 different people having 3 different conversations above each others heads.
I silence the evening, because I am really tired. Got hit by the big hammer.
But also because I am looking at this thing from a distance while in my mind I compair to Belgium. I guess we were never noisy people and intend to shut up easier than f.e the Dutch but you should experience this to understand what I mean by noisy...
This little country is a country of screamers. Maybe this is why they are in the news all the time -although they say nobody listens to them-
And again openess invites me to feel at home. And yes, I know I can sleep on the couch if I want to, that I don't have to feel shy, and that I can feel as home.
We could never imagine it: sleeping at a friends of a friends place.
And yet.
The only reason why I don't? Because it is really too noisy... ;)

Posted on October 24, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Sleeping

Slept like 12 hours. Needed it.
After all the rushing at home, and the long nights the past few days.
Didn't feel the sea yet.
But will so, soon.
Tomorrow first day of school.
And suddenly I realize: I am back in Tel Aviv, I really am.
Sometimes all of this seems a long dream.
But when Tamar squeezes my arm, I know it is not.
I close my eyes for a second, want to keep the dream for some seconds longer.
Tomorrow the real work will start...

Posted on October 25, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Documentary projects

can get scholarships here...
Fifty Crows is an international photofund for photo documentaries.
Truly interesting.

Sophia Evans

Posted on October 26, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Rabin

While surfing the web I found this photo documentary.
A documentary photographer, graduated at Bezalel, the same school I am in.

What interested me was one of his links:
Murder in the Name of God : The Plot to Kill Yitzhak Rabin
Michael Karpin's and Ina Friedman's book describing the relegious zeoltry that led to the assasination of Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin. The book traces many of the leading figures of the Jewish extreme right and thickens the questions surrounding their envolvement in creating the dangerous atmosphere that led to Rabin's murder.

Rabin was killed already 8 years ago.
Nov 1st there will be a memorial wich will be gathered by thousands of people.
We'll be there.

By then somebody should explain me more about what happened that day, and the political environment.

Or I just have to read the book...

Posted on October 26, 2003
in Living in Israel

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School

"How can we not see here, immanent in the geometral dimension - a partial dimension in the field of the gaze, a dimension that has nothing to do with vision as such - something symbolic of the function of the lack, of the appearance of the phallic ghost?
. . . But it is further still that we must seek the function of vision. We shall then see emerging on the basis of vision, not the phallic symbol, the anamorphic ghost, but the gaze as such, in its pulsatile, dazzling, and expansive function, as it is in this picture."

Jacques Lacan, Seminar XI

First day of school... I forgot what it is not to understand Hebrew.
Now I remember. (After a long night of conversations, people talking in an alien language for 2 hours is too much. I almost dooze off.)
This program in school is not made for foreign students that not know the Hebrew language. One should be advanced.
I am not.

The quote above is part of a class I am supposed to follow.
(Imagine, I don't understand it yet in English or Dutch...)
I am interested though. Will be reading the books in French. :)

And Tim, our philosopher, can help me out...

(For interested people: Lacan might be interesting, Roland Barthes is even more for photographers with his book: La chambre claire)

Posted on October 26, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Israeli Barrier Turns Harvest Into Ordeal

Out of a newspaper:

Seen behind barbed wire, part of the separation fence Israel is building, Palestinian Zakiya Faid Shammasi, works in olive harvest Wednesday Oct. 15, 2003. Nearly three-fourths of Jayous' farmland, or 2,250 out of 3,000 acres, is now on the "Israeli" side of the separation fence Israel is building, cutting them off from the village itself. The residents, along with thousands of other Palestinians along the West Bank must now apply for permits to cross Israeli army controlled barriers to get to their fields and back. Israel says it needs the line of obstacles _ fences, trenches and razor wires _ to keep out suicide bombers and gunmen who have killed hundreds of Israelis in the past three years of fighting.

When the gate finally opened and the Israeli soldiers let eight farmers through to their fields, plaintive cries went up from the dozens left behind: "Please water my tomatoes." "Please please pick up some of my olive sacks."

The barrier that Israel is building in defiance of international protest is meant to keep suicide bombers at bay. But it's also cutting off thousands of Palestinians from their land and disrupting the West Bank's ancient farming rhythms, especially these days as the olive harvest, normally a joyous occasion, turns into a nightmare.

(by LARA SUKHTIAN Associated Press Writer, the whole article here)

Israel says that this wall will stop terrorattacks.
That it stops Palestinians to have food is also a side of the story...

images: Ine Dehandschutter, June 2003

We want to change and try to drop the wall in people's heads...: www.snowblog.net

Posted on October 27, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Sunset

Somebody asked me whether I touched the sea by now?
Yes, tonight I watched one of the magnificent sunsets, with wet feet.
While Coldplay was singing in car radios, I was enjoying the noise and smell of this sea.

Synchro all over again...

Posted on October 27, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Stuck to my comp

Yes finally, made it...
Networkwire to my comp and all the gates are open. This is what I've been waiting for (and what i've missed in Belgium being at home without a fast connection..)
Will be busy working around on the web. Just found out that there are good reasons to be on the comp...
So whoever is saying I am wasting my time on the web.
You've got it soooo wrong... ;)

Posted on October 28, 2003
in Living in Israel

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Syn·chro·nize

Wondering what it exactly meant, so looked it up in Merrian-Webster

Main Entry: syn·chro·nize
Pronunciation: 'si[ng]-kr&-"nIz, 'sin-
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -nized; -niz·ing
Date: circa 1624
intransitive senses : to happen at the same time
transitive senses
1 : to represent or arrange (events) to indicate coincidence or coexistence
2 : to make synchronous in operation
3 : to make (motion-picture sound) exactly simultaneous with the action
- syn·chro·niz·er noun

So looked further:
syn·chro·nous
Pronunciation: 'si[ng]-kr&-n&s, 'sin-
Function: adjective
Etymology: Late Latin synchronos, from Greek, from syn- + chronos time
Date: 1669
1 : happening, existing, or arising at precisely the same time
2 : recurring or operating at exactly the same periods
3 : involving or indicating synchronism
4 a : having the same period; also : having the same period and phase b : GEOSTATIONARY
5 : of, used in, or being digital communication (as between computers) in which a common timing signal is established that dictates when individual bits can be transmitted, in which characters are not individually delimited, and which allows for very high rates of data transfer

and more important:
co·in·cide
Pronunciation: "kO-&n-'sId, 'kO-&n-"
Function: intransitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -cid·ed; -cid·ing
Etymology: Medieval Latin coincidere, from Latin co- + incidere to fall on, from in- + cadere to fall -- more at CHANCE
Date: 1719
1 a : to occupy the same place in space or time b : to occupy exactly corresponding or equivalent positions on a scale or in a series
2 : to correspond in nature, character, or function
3 : to be in accord or agreement

What is co·in·ci·dence?
What is syn·chro·nize?

Some things seems strange some times, but isn't it because we let them?
Isn't it because we remark it?
Because everything is random in this world.
And suddenly because we see something peculiar that has to do with the linking in our head, we consider it 'a strange coincidence', 'a synchonisation'.

I am still convinced we want it to be coincidence, synchronisation
Without those links in our head, there wouldn't be...
There just would be randomness.

Makes me think...

(Funny remark: these words only existed since 1600 and later, didn't they think about this before? How did they explain coincidence before those times...)

Posted on October 29, 2003
in Limit of my knowledge

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Fragment

To photograph is to appropriate the thing photographed. It means putting oneself into a certain relation to the world that feels like knowledge -- and, therefore, like power. A now notorious first fall into alienation, habituating people to abstract the world into printed words, is supposed to have engendered that surplus of Faustian energy and psychic damage needed to build modern, inorganic societies. But print seems a less treacherous form of leaching out the world, of turning it into a mental object, than photographic images, which now provide most of the knowledge people have about the look of the past and the reach of the present. What is written about a person or an event is frankly an interpretation, as are handmade visual statements, like paintings and drawings. Photographed images do not seem to be statements about the world so much as pieces of it, miniatures of reality that anyone can make or acquire.

out of Susan Sontag 'On Photogaphy'

Makes me think.

Posted on October 29, 2003
in Limit of my knowledge

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