Archives: April 2004

Photofriday: atmosphere

Light falls over me

If you ask me what matters, it is the light.
The light that wakes me in the morning through the shades, lights my nose and slowly makes me open one eye, to glimpse.
And later when going out of the house and walking out of the shadow, the same light that touches my skin, invisible but warm, and always there.
Sometimes it burns but more often it is a soft tender feeling coming over me, caring.
And when in the evening I get cold, when the sun sunk into the ocean and seems to have drowned for ever, it's her that I miss.
She who is still there.
And yet, whom I can't feel..

Posted on April 2, 2004
in PhotoFriday

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Paashazen via Paypal

Paashazen bestaan.
Ze opereren nu via PayPal.
Dankjewel Guido!

Posted on April 4, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Lawrence of Arabia

Yesterday i finally started to see this beautiful movie.
Once before, I had put the dvd aside, because 2 was to much.
Yesterday though, I longed for those beautiful deserts I saw months ago.
It is said that Lawrence of Arabia went through Wadi Rum.
Years later I would sleep in the same desert, near the same rocks. Atleast if the dates carved into the rock where real..

Mum, I recommend you to see this movie.

Next to that it is a great way to get introduced to what happened here long time ago, and why years later the Israeli conflict started...

More here

Posted on April 4, 2004
in Limit of my knowledge

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What happened?

What brings one to sleep all day, to hide in the cosiness of a bed?
I jump immediately into the little cocoon in the bed, look for the warmest place, heat it up and stay there, hide for the day.
I close my eyes and start to dream, while still awake.

This is what a bed represents, next to be a place to sleep in, moreover it is a place to hide in, to ordain the books in my mind library, to wander around, look it over, touch the books and sometimes take one out to read some parts in it. And then find a link to another and in the end of the day you find yourself still there.

I look around me and see a pile of books. Opened. Left open on a certain page. And different from other books, the books change when you enter them. Sometimes they tell the story of a day, but the next time the same story contains more details, and the event becomes less important than those details, how the bottle was opened, or in the background this person appeared, walking with the dogs. Like your eyes focussing on different things.

Today I scrolled through the different houses I have lived in.
For that I had to go to the stories that happened there. A love, a hot summer and people sleeping in the hallways, a grandfather helping me moving from the one place to another.

All to bring me back into the different rooms, to see the interiors, to feel the wood of the floor, to see the holes in it, to take the dust away that has been gathering there for the last 7 years
The way my television was placed and the memory that because of this television everybody came in the evening to my place, to lie in the bed, together and watch pathetic series.
Or the mirror, where once, after strange herbs, my face started to seem like somebody elses.
Or the door with the little board on it, one morning saying I love you

I guess we all have these memories. They slowly but certain fade away. They become a book that can be eaten by the mice in our memory-library and suddenly you find yourself holding nothing but dust, instead of nice memories.

Thats why some days, I hide, and time and space just turn out to be a trick of mankind, a try to organize what cannot be organized. Those days time doesnt exist, once again it is proved to be particularly made by people. I am sitting in one place while meanwhile I am elsewhere.
I am busy taking the dust out of my books, busy chasing the mice away.

Posted on April 8, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Passover passed

And I am back...

The sun is shining like a Julyday in Belgium. No reason to stay behind a comp then...

Posted on April 8, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Interview with Erez

Just had an interview with Eres form Y-net, on SNOWblog. And Photoblog.
And some easy chatting.
It was fun to talk with another 'blog'addict. One which you don't have to explain what blogging is about.
And most of all one that is realistic enough what the dangers are...
Erez told me that he is doing this amazing project. After 2 years living in his neighbourhood, he realized he knows nobody and thus started to interview the people, take a picture and post te stories on the blog. (www.israblog.co.il/erez)-don't bother if you don't read hebrew..-
'Because there is more to life than sit behind the screen.
He is sooo right.
When we ended the interview, I wrote this, will close the pbook, walk outside and not touch it for the next 2 days...

Posted on April 8, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Photofriday: discovery

Posted on April 9, 2004
in PhotoFriday

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SNOWblog: Haaretz published

Yesterday we got the message: Haaretz published our SNOWblog project.
Good news.
But then we saw the article. No mentioning of our site name...
How can it be? How stupid can one be to publish an internetproject without mentioning the url?
The rest of the article seems to be nice, and I have to say, I should be flattered.
Everything is inside, with a critical eye but yet nicely explaining what it is about.
Highlighting the most important things, and I have to admit, highlighting me -I guess it is 'exotic' to tell the story of a foreigner ending up in Israel, nobody understands it here...-, that I am a student at Bezalel, explaining about Photoblog.be, and the origin of the idea of SNOWblog.
Let's hope that now it can grow more, and try to make the next journalist mention the url...

For Hebrew readers: read the article

Posted on April 10, 2004
in Projects - SnowBlog.net

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Home is...

Unlike my friend who thinks of moving to Costa Rica, and who thinks Belgium is a sad place, I do love Belgium.
I never intend to really live abroad. I will always have that brick in my stomach, aching to have a place in the country I was born.
Maybe it takes one 2 years to realize the really nice things about the home you were born...
Friends, family, and then the little things that make life so comfortable. So 'home'...

Like a good piece of steak with french fries and mayo, baked by your grandmother, or spagetti bolognaise by your mum, or the french fries from the 'frietkot' around the corner at 3 in the morning, or the shoarma place near the Fridaymarket.
Or the good parties in the Vooruit.
Or windy afternoons in spring and autumn. Or even a night with your little sissy, just in front of the tele. Or your little bro that has grown 4 inches again...

I guess the food is someties the thing I miss the most.
Last week I was walking through the supermarket with TMR, looking for these little things, like Cote d'or, or green gummies, or little banana candy, or a cheap bottle of champagne, or french cheese, or normal french bread. Or chocolate bread. Sonething that makes home home.
Everything was different...
Only few things ressemble what we have, and when they do, they are sooo expensive.
I ended up with Nutella.
And while everybody tried to convince me I have to try the Israeli choco, I became deaf, buttered my bread, closed my eyes, and was home home for an eternity tat lasted few seconds.

This is why being home will be great. To me shopping never has been a great thing, but it is one of the thins I'll appreciate when being back.
Sigal says I miss home. Maybe I do. Maybe a little bit. Maybe it is time to move on again.

The great search for 'peace within' has to continue, soon.

Posted on April 11, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Happy Easter!

One of days that you'd wish you'd had the sun of here and the atmosphere of home...
Reaching for the impossible.

Posted on April 12, 2004
in Living in Israel

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It's a fire

It's a fire
These dreams they pass me by
This salvation I desire
Keeps getting me down
Cos we need to
Recognise mistakes
For time and again
So let it be known for what we believe in
I can see no reason for it to fail.... ...
Cos this life is a farce
I can't breathe through this mask
Like a fool
So breathe on, sister breathe on
From this oneself
Testify or tell
Its fooling us now
So let it be known for what we believe in
I can see no reason for it to fail...
Cos this life is a farce
I can't breathe through this mask
Like a fool
So breathe on, little sister, breathe on
Ohh so breathe on, little sister, like a fool

(It's a fire - Portishead)

Posted on April 12, 2004
in Limit of my knowledge

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The power of an image

Remember the days where a picture could become an icon, change a way of thinking or show beauty because it was new.
Photographers as Bresson, Weston, Weegee, They all had something in common: photography was new, not open to everybody.
Photography was still a very vague thing, and only few where really into it.
During the years these things changed: the coming of the television with moving images, the cheaper and easier cameras,.. People got adapted to images and to photography.
It all stayed pretty expensive in production.

I remember my explanation Why to learn photography like yesterday:
Because I want to learn a language, understand it. And in the end speak it.

After 5 years of studying it, my conclusion was to use documentary, it suited me the most and the narrative aspect

In everything I did with photography, the research kept on appearing.
Photography as a narrative, in its most clear form: documentary.
It was an obvious choice to turn to documentary, while other students where experimenting with the reality-fiction aspect, I didnt want to flirt with those things. The fresh new stream of empty pictures, showing reality like emptiness seemed absurd to me.
Coming from a mainly documentary school suddenly everybody seemed to do this stuff.
Showing how beautiful ugly things can be.
I kept to what was known and what has a purpose to me: showing the world through my eyes, as a social-documentary photographer

During that last year we had to make a paper.
I choose it to be on the influence of digital media in the opinion-making of the people.
More-over I looked at the mis-use and dangers of it, and the evolution of imagebanks.

Reality is different from the news we get.
And press and media should be responsible about that.

10 years ago, the fear of adaptations in pictures, the use of Photoshop and similar things made us aware of the dangers. The fact that Time magazine and Newsweek published the same picture of OJ Simpson but in a different gradation of black, suddenly started a huge discussion how media should deal with these tools.
Statements were made, and for sure some of these magazines wont make the same mistake again.

The fear of such adaptations and the doubt if what we see is real, is still there.
Though, as I see it, we should not be so afraid of those things.
By now it turned out that most of the newspapers, magazines realized they lose credibility when using it.

5 years later, we have a different kind of problem.
The embedded journalism.
No fake pictures, and real things on the pictures.
But do we see everything?
On both sides, different stories were told.

Next to that the fact that we are overwhelmed by pictures.

I think photography as a language is a very difficult language.
The grammaticism keeps on changing.

Posted on April 14, 2004
in Limit of my knowledge

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Quote

"Travelling is a lovely thing, the loneliness with unknown people in unknown places, beware to keep your energy for socialising, smiling, shaking hands, telling your story, the truth or the untruth. But sometimes you will meet an angel around the corner, an angel you will never meet again. When I am back, that's what I remember."

M. Kitty 'Sur la route'

Posted on April 14, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Be aware and do something

Let's try to save a life.

...el Tribunal de apelación de la Sharia decidirá si ratifica o anula la condena de Fátima Usman y Ahmadu Ibrahim a morir lapidados por mantener relaciones sexuales fuera del matrimonio.

La firma de millones de ciudadanos ha sido efectiva. Safiya Hussaini y Amina Lawal lo saben. Si aún no lo has hecho, por favor, firma ahora. Muchas gracias.

Oppose here

Posted on April 14, 2004
in Limit of my knowledge

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Quote of the day

"Imagine if Palestinians said, `O.K., we give California to Canada,' Americans should stop wondering why they have so little credibility in the Middle East."

Michael Tarazi, a legal adviser for the Palestine Liberation Organization.

The whole article here

Posted on April 15, 2004
in Linking context

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Photofriday: self-portrait

Posted on April 16, 2004
in PhotoFriday

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News today...

I think, the more I get to know, the more I want to close the television, get rid of the news and live a life far away from it...

Posted on April 18, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Politik

Look at earth from outer space
Everyone must find the place
Give me time and give me space
Give me real, don't give me fake

Give me strength, reserve control
Give me heart and give me soul
Give me time give us a kiss
Tell me your own Politik

Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Just open up your eyes

Give me one, 'cos one is best
And in confusion, confidence
Give me peace of mind and trust
And don't forget the rest of us
Give me strength, reserve control
Give me time and give me soul
Wounds that heal and cracks that fix
Oh Love, tell me your own politik

Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Just open up your eyes

Coldplay - Politik

Posted on April 18, 2004
in Linking context

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Holocaustday

Today was Holocaust day.
Sigal warned me for a noise that might come.
A minute later she jumped herself, when it started.
A minute long the sirens went on, making us stop for what happened so long ago.
Cars stop, the world stands still to remember.
The noise of the alarm immediately brought me to 44, the noise you hear so often in movies on that time.
When opening the window, the siren turns out to be just 20 meters away. No wonder

The last two days all the movies showing on all channels are on the Holocaust. On the camps. On the sad stories.

And while the television shows us how in the 30s and 40s people were indoctrinated with the ideas of the SS, I wonder how much we are indoctrinated now.
By the television by movies like these, telling us how evil the people can be...
Like the game the American Army invented, where American soldiers are fighting against 'terrorists', clearly moslimfundamentalists...
Is it the task of an Army to make such games?

Posted on April 19, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Final show

I guess I look a little bit dizzy.
Cought by the sun and busy with the final show.
Still some solutions have to be found and in one month it is all happening...
This strange stress before everything comes falls over us.

These are the days that you wished we were one month further...

But then again, what would I think that day?

Posted on April 19, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Hamas-member killed

And again phonecalls from home.
'Everybody says that I am crazy but I wanted to hear you anyway, and yes, I know it is happening in Gaza and not in Tel Aviv.'
My grandmother sounds worried as ever.
How can I explain that we just go to the beach? How cruel this might sound?
Because we don't know what this army with its crazy leader decides to do.

Should I feel pity for this 'terrorist' / 'freedomfighter', when he orders people to explode themselves?
It is against all my ideas to support one of them.

But then again, I don't agree with this brutal killing either.

I am not a believer, not religious, but the ethics that lie in religions have a truth.
'When we become killers ourselves, do we become better than the original killer?'

Israel is very clear on its politics. They will exterminate Hamas before leaving Gaza. Because they can not permit itself not to do.
Because this is a nation of fear...

When I see the mourning on the killed leader, and the guns that are in the streets, and the thousands of people that are in rage, I don't see the persons behind it anymore.
It is a pity.
Because it shows the world only a fragment of the reality.

When I was in Gaza, some time ago, I could feel the hate, but next to that I also could feel the fear, and the desire for a normal life, just like everybody else.

Is that a strange desire?

Posted on April 20, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Blogging

De Standaard has launched a blog today....
A little dissapointing to me. Very random and 'light' news.
I know that the blogging culture has many apects, and 'light' is one of them when we see the flood of 'entertaining'blogs.
Yet there are others....
Journalistic blogs like 'Back to Iraq'

I quote:

President Bush said on Tuesday night that he still intended to turn over control to a government in Iraq by June 30. (Stephen Crowley/The New York Times)Which is part of the problem for Americans and their media, politics and discourses. Weve become way too polarized as to how we view the world, with barely an attempt to see whats really happening. Im guilty of it, and, truth be told, since I got back from Iraq in April last year, Ive also promoted this polarization. Right-wing, pro-war folks by and large have their universe of friends and media in which to swim. The flip-side is true for the left as well although were not nearly as well-funded.

So Im trying to get back to just reporting. Like I said, Im trying to pitch an interview I did with a senior aide to Sayyid Sistani and when that happens, Ill post the transcript. And when I go back to Iraq, Ill keep the commentary to a minimum. Things are bad there, but maybe theyre not as bad as most people on the left seem to think. Right-wing bloggers and their fellow travelers certainly seem to think so.

Or maybe its worse than we even imagine. The point is that I dont know, and the reason Im going is because I want to find out. And I want to tell you about it. A reporter should be able to hold an opinion that Bush in an idiot and his policies are disastrous and yet be able to acknowledge successes and report the events of the day. I did it during the war and Ill do it again. The corollary to this is that the readers need to understand that as well: that reporters are human, we have our ideas, and most of us are trying our best to find out the truth.

Finally we get to meet the guys behind the abbreviations. The person behind the journalist.
And only for that it is worth to donate them money...

Posted on April 20, 2004
in Linking context

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Blogging De Standaard Update

Well.
The interaction between blogs is the interesting part in blogging culture.
You ask, you say, you give opinions and get opinions. You share.
And sometimes you even get behind all that and get to know the real person behind.

My reaction to de Standaard blog was really appreciated.

Lieve, it's vice-versa.

Standaardblog, with this blog linked :)

Posted on April 21, 2004
in Living in Israel

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On the other side of the world

Today I was mailing with this lady on the other side of the world.
She wrote a nice mail, saying that when reading my stories, she realized I was doing what she is dreaming of.

It is nice to get such mails. But the 'down to earth' me in me immediately will answer that what I am doing is not such a special thing. And sometimes even boring, and sometimes hard. Sometimes lonely.

But very possible.

So amazingly easy possibly.

I have to thank my dad for that one.
He was the one always telling 'If you work hard and you want things hard enough, you will get there. You just have to try to be the best in what you do.'

I have blamed him silently for running away from our home and building another one. And yes, we have lost the special contact we once had, and it turned into talking about nothing and everything.

But when I stand here, and I am realizing my dreams, every day again, it is because of him. Because of my dad who teached me that it is worth to live our dreams.

Even when sometimes they seem unreachable.

Posted on April 21, 2004
in Limit of my knowledge

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Graduation Show - Images are empty.

Images are empty, without the necessary context.

It is a statement. Is it true? Or not?
I question it, don't know the answers.

Does this image change when I say it is taken in Gaza Airport?
Which 'emotional' interpretation is added?
Does the meaning change?

What is the difference between hanging this picture on a wall in a museum, or printing it in a newspaper in an article?
It's context or lack of context?

Personal answers can be mailed to me and are greatly welcomed.

Posted on April 21, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Spam...

No: 24A Idrisa Road,
Baghdad.
Republic of Iraq.
Salam
Greetings to you in the name of our Allah i got your e mail through the
help of my nurse who scanned the internet and gave me your mail.
I am Mrs Mariam Khalid a devoted muslim,a new muslim convert of 74
years old after being converted from a christian family by my husband.
For quite a good number of years now,I have been suffering from cancer of
the breast and fibroid of the womb which has for a long time now affected
my health and from all indications my condition is deteriorating by day and
by my doctor's prediction I have less than six months to live.

Today I received this spammail.
They are pretty creative these Spamboosters...
Asking for money.
I am laughing when reading it. As if a 74 year old Iraqi muslim speaks English and knows how to email...
Give me a break.

If you consider to help Iraq, I suggest Medecins Sans Frontieres They are still in Irq with 80 people.

Posted on April 22, 2004
in Limit of my knowledge

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Exhibition in SMAK

Yesterday I received the newletter of Les Nuits Tout Court, they are organizing the % years of SMAK activities.
When I look at it, I miss Ghent... Attending the party in the park would be for sure one of the things of this summer.

When checking the SMAK site, i found out that Sam Durant is presenting his works.
It is the same Sam Durant from which I attended a lecture in Bezalel some months ago.
I can only recommend you to go and see the exhibit, and how he integrated political art in a very nice way.

Posted on April 25, 2004
in Linking context

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Memory days...

These days in Israel are a series of holidays.
I dont know if they are perceived as festivities so much since the history of this country.

Today is Memorial Day (after last weeks Holocaust Day), this day is a sad day.
All the died soldiers are remembered.
And since Israel never stopped fighting, many people attend memorial services.
Almost everybody has family that died in a war.
The war of 49, the war of 67, the war with Lebanon, or just dying in this everyday life of what they call surviving.

It is probably surviving. Since there was never one peace treaty accepted and thus there are a lot of enemies to face.

Tomorrow it is Independence Day.

I guess this day became so important to them, after the holocaust, and after the several fights to keep their established country.
Flags are all around and are been sold in street corners, at traffic lights, in special shops that only sell flags.
I still dont understand it, and heavy discussions with friends and acquaintances dont make me ready to accept.
Maybe it is the view of European like some say.
But to see them show so much that they are Israeli is a strange thing to me.

When I come to think about it, I never saw a lot of Belgian flags on our independence day.
Last year I wrote how happy I was to see that Gent decided to do something special for the new Belgians that day, the integrated immigrants.
And when I am honest, being abroad for so long, I realize how proud I am to be a Belgian. Raised in a democratic system, with a history of being occupied for so many times and yet established to be an independent country with very liberal thoughts.
How I believe that our kingdom stands for reliability We are not doing so bad, I truly believe.
And of course there are things not to be proud of. But yet, we dare to criticize.

But never, never in my life, I imagine myself showing this proudness by carrying a Belgian flag.

Belgian flags are there when we win an Olympic medulla, or when the national football team wins a game (once in 20 years) and cars in the streets are showing how happy they are.
Or when the king and the queen do a parade and assistants of the royal team give everybody Belgian flags (because few will bring from their home)

And yes I am proud to be a fille de Flandres, but again, I never see myself walking with the Flemish yellow-and-black flag. Simply because the connotation of that is nationalism and with nationalism racism.
It is that flag that the right-winged party, recently accused to be racist, carries around all over.
It is ok that the government and official instances show that flag. Youll never see it labelled on me.

Posted on April 25, 2004
in Living in Israel

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Photofriday: junk

Posted on April 26, 2004
in PhotoFriday

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Everything my dad teached me...

-To look for the ghosts under the bed and see that they are not there
-To tell fairy tales
-To write those stories
-To believe that I can write the real stories
-To love design
-To make design
-To see light
-To feel light
-To dream
-To believe in dreams
-To be free
-To be who ever you want to if you try enough
-To look for the things you are longing for
-To look for the ones you are searching for
-To keep on going til you find
-To love

And so I ended up jumping over and over on the bed, with arms going up and down. Because my dad told me: 'When you try hard enough, you can do it.'
-I am not sure he thought I would try to fly...-

It took me a long time to see those things, to remember them, hidden behind the things he broke.
But they become more clear every day...

Posted on April 26, 2004
in Limit of my knowledge

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The danger of blogging

There are many dangers in blogging.
The first one is the most terrible: the addiction.

The second one, is the living your life in a blog.
As a frequent blogger, I think I still live my life in reality...
Or I try to.

You will stop having normal conversations with family and friends: Real life conversations will go like this. "Oh, hey, I saw So-And-So in concert and the weirdest thing happened..." Friend, "Yeah, I know, I read about it on your blog." Silence. Friend, "Did I tell you that I'm..." You, "Blog." Friend, "Yeah."

Yesterday I realized it was true.
I am not willing to have certain conversation with friends in a blog...
They don't have to comment on things in a certain way when they can say it personally to me, and I can have the discussion in real time, and not being followed by 200 people... The viewers watching blog-soap.
I don't do it either. If I have a really serious comment I will make it in a mail.
(except for the one and only time I didn't, and I regretted)

I keep on saying that next to my blog there is another life that is not been told.
And many people say that lately there are more 'references' to other stuff.
Very clear to me why: my visitors jumped... (should be flattering, I guess)
But I am not so sure I want to expose a part of my life to 'anyone'

Find the whole sarcastic article here

Posted on April 26, 2004

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